Beautiful Beverley Bottlenose
Beverley Bottlenose has eyes like an owl
and ears like the doors of a Porche
when she talks her voice is a bit like a growl
and her hair's like a hedgehog but coarser
and the stars light up in the sky for her
she fills my senses with beauty and grace
and I feel that I'd happily die for her
If I asked her to marry me she'd laugh out loud
I know 'cause I asked and she did
we were at the zoo at the time, I felt proud
the hyenas all went and hid
I'd never say that Beverley was plump
but as we sat on the beach drinking gin
a lifeguard asked if she'd mind moving her rump
'cause the tide was trying to come in
She sang me a lullaby that fateful July
as we lay on the floor on a blanket
but the wail of her voice cracked her bottle of rye
and rather than waste it she drank it
Beverley's gone now and life's not the same
and the thing that sticks in my head
is not the love that I felt for the dame
but her feet sticking out of the bed
