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Laura's lover
When Laura's lover Ron came around
her little son Pete and his bears
were hidden away until Ron had gone
in the cupboard under the stairs
Then one day while they were making love
Laura heard her husband Eddie
so she pushed Ron into the cupboard
where Pete was with his Teddy
'It's mighty dark in here' said Pete
'wanna Teddy for forty-five pounds?'
'No way kid, you're crazy' said Ron
and Pete said 'I'll scream the house down'
So Ron gave him the money
and they sat quietly 'til Eddie was gone
then he put on his clothes and departed
and that was the last that Pete saw of Ron
A day or two later Pete's grandmother found him
buying sweets and things at the shop
so she asked him where he'd got the money
but he wouldn't tell her a lot
So Grandma sat him down and spoke to him
she said 'Pete, if you won't tell
I'll take you down to confession
you can talk to the Father a spell'
As Pete went into the gloomy booth
Father Pat asked 'how can I help then?'
'It's mighty dark in here' said Pete
Father Pat said 'don't start that again'
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