A few months later the girl next door and I became lovers and sure enough, the next day my mother proved to be right, the girl next door dumped me for some guy at school, just because he was in the football team. It turned out that she only wanted my body, there was no love involved at all.

This didn’t deter me from falling in love though, on the contrary, I fell in love with fourteen other girls on the rebound and my mother didn’t talk to me for seven years.

Now, of course, I know the difference. Lust can be very exciting, when shared with someone who reciprocates the emotion, but it is short lived. At best it lasts until a sexual climax is reached, at worst, until another thought enters the head of one of the participants in the sexual romp, like how long the pizza will take to be delivered.

Lust and love can both make the most ordinary woman very beautiful, but she only stays beautiful if you are in love. If you turn out to be in love, the memory of that first time will live with you forever, you will remember little things that she said and did, you will remember little gestures and quirks, the sound of her voice and the smell of her hair. But if it was only lust, the chances are you won’t remember her name the next day.

Fantasies are all about lust too, you might think that the fantasy world you visit is inspired by the people you love, It’s not, it’s about lust. After all, usually you don’t even know the person in your fantasy. A lot of my favourite fantasies feature movie stars and princesses, usually Caroline of Monaco. I am sure I am in love with her, she is the epitome of the beautiful princess, except she is not a virgin. On the contrary, being into her third marriage makes me think she might be quite experienced in the affairs of the heart and other things. And then there is her little sister Stephanie who is definitely a very naughty girl. I know because she keeps breaking into my fantasies about Caroline.

It always amazes me how very ordinary-looking girls can suddenly become beautiful. I was having a drink in a bar one evening in a group of about ten and got into a conversation with a girl who was seated next to me. She was a rather plain-looking girl and there was certainly no spark between us. The conversation was about the weather and other trivial stuff that neither of us were interested in and we were both keeping an eye out for someone better to talk to.

After about five or six minutes our conversation dried up altogether and we just joined the talk of others around us.

Then, as chance would have it, I said something funny which made everyone laugh and it had a profound effect on the plain girl. She suddenly became interested in me and re-started our conversation. As it progressed I realised that there was something between us after all and that there was a chance that we might actually become romantically involved. Actually what I mean is that there appeared to be a chance that we would end up in bed together.

And, as if by magic, she became beautiful. She was no longer plain looking but had a sweet face and a fascinating body. And not only that, she was also quite an interesting person to talk to.

As the night went on and the levels of intoxication rose I started to believe that I was in love with her and by the time we went home together I was certain that love at first sight wasn’t just a myth and it had happened to me at last.

We had a wonderful night of unbridled passion but in the morning she had become that plain ordinary-looking girl again. And I had obviously morphed back into the ugly guy I was at the beginning of the evening because she couldn’t hide her embarassement and left as quickly as she could without leaving me her phone number. Not that I was worried about it, that saved me the guilt trip I might have had from never calling her.

I was disappointed to realise that “love at first sight” is a myth after all, but it was a great night just the same and I’ve been trying to remember the joke I told ever since.