Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards
	A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing right
	Things are more like they are today than they have ever been before
	A day without sunshine is like night
	Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear, but forgetting where you heard it
	You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead
	I'm a kleptomaniac, but when it gets bad I take something for it
	The best way to succeed in life is bite off more than you can chew and keep chewing
	As I said before, I never repeat myself
	A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one
	It is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same
	Dyslexics have more nuf
	Clones are people, two
	I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault
	Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well
	I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, ...unless I buy something
	I always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants their coffee black
	The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
	Never buy a Rolex from someone who is out of breath
	You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely
	Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment
	Atheism is a non-prophet organization
	Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in
	If the police arrest a mime, do they still tell him he has the right to remain silent?
	All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair
	My biggest regrets are the risks I never took
	Dying isn't so bad, life doesn't just come to an end just coz you die
	The earth is just a grain of sand in a dust storm
	Things ain't what they used to be. In my day they never were
	We have to believe in free will. We have no choice
	You can't tell a book by its movie
	A lost property office is for people to return things they find and don't want
	You can tell the quality of a person by how they treat people they don't need
	Life is a test, and I didn't take very good notes
	If you lost your left arm, your right arm would be left
	An eternity is very, very long, especially towards the end
	"Heck" is where people go that don't believe in "Gosh"